Lockdown life for a carer
Written by Sam
23rd November, 2020
Caring for someone else often brings additional pressures to the carer’s life, but throw in a global pandemic and a heightened risk of illness and that pressure grows. One of our residents cares for a family member with disabilities and she put her thoughts into words highlighting the impact of the coronavirus as lockdown started. What would’ve been a routine trip to pick up medication is markedly different in 2020. If you are a carer here is a handy guide to knowing your rights
As Carers Rights Day is on Thursday 26 November we have shared a diary of a carer in lockdown
Read her moving excerpt here...
"I head out to the car with my scarf and my gloves a journey I don’t really want to make. My heart is pounding.
What if I catch it? What if I end up in hospital, I have asthma.
I’ve already given medication prepared breakfast, cleaned kitchen, toilets, wiped door handles and put a load of washing on.
I am waiting in the queue of six people at the Dr’s surgery to pick up a script as my oldest daughter’s (23yrs) seizures have worsened since the lock down. She is currently at home with her grandmother who has just had a knee replacement and needs care herself right now and isn’t really able to manage her if she has a meltdown. Meltdowns are getting more as the lockdown weeks go on. Every day I am becoming an expert in diffusing heated emotions and I am tired. The pressure is immense to be as quick as I can. I have to next get to the chemist straight away and then pick up some groceries. I keep checking the phone in case I have missed any calls.
It took around 10 minutes at the doctors and then 30 minutes to get the medication. I then I head over to Sainsbury, wow there are around 15 people in the queue. I have to phone home to make sure she is still alright and mum is alright.
It’s all a new way of shopping, I thought the chemist was bad with only letting 3 people in at a time. The tape on the floors 2 metres apart, I haven’t stopped sweating. Standing half way around the carpark on my marker I wonder if when I get home I will now carry the virus, will I pass it on to anyone? Will the wrapper of the food be contaminated? I know what I will do when I get in. I will wipe every surface of the wrappers before putting it away.
After another 30 minutes I reach the security they explain all the new rules whilst shopping. My mind is racing as I try to remember it all. As I enter the store I look to where the next person is so as not to get too close. The shelves look sparse as I get only what we need but some things are not in stock at all. I want to be as quick as I can but this system is not quick...but it’s safer.
The only person that spoke to me is the lady at the checkout. It is not about the weather anymore it’s about the virus. I had a job to hear her as I am partially deaf and couldn’t see her mouth. This invisible virus consumes everyday and raises more fears as you hear more deaths. I finish the shopping and head back to the car. There is an eerie silence outside as I pass the queue. I pack my things in the boot and take off my gloves and scarf. I gel my hands again. I did it! I got through it! Lets get home to safety.
I get home and wash my hands again, it seems that is all I do at the moment. I check my (oldest) daughter and mum is alright. I empty the car and then there is this overwhelming fear that it everything is potentially carrying this nightmare. I have a bowl of disinfectant and wipe all outer packaging before putting it away. I wash my hands yet again.
I feel drained and it is only lunch time. I prepare dinner and clean away again. I’m still weary as to whether I could have picked something up by going out.
My mum is on crutches and trying to gain strength everyday to be able to manage at her home. She wouldn’t need to be here if dad was still here but it’s been 4 months since he passed. She keeps apologising for having to stay here, I would rather her be here right now than be on her own. My dad (ashes) is in my dining room giving me comfort that somehow he is still with me. My confident and my best mate. I have only cried once since the funeral...It’s just too painful..... anyway, I better put the washing on the line while it’s still sunny.
The bit of freedom I feel is when the sun hits my face. I close my eyes for a moment, I could be anywhere in the world right now. I am praying that I get to have respite in 6 months to go away to the sun. I need something to look forward to right now.
Finally bed time rolls around and time to give my (oldest) daughter her medication ready for bed. Well I say bed, at the moment my mum has her bed with bathroom, she is sleeping with me in the living room. I try and wake up early so that I can gather my thoughts and work out my plans for the day and enjoy some peace. I also wait for her to go to sleep which is late at the moment, after she has to go through her routine, chat about the day, all about the wedding she is planning with her boyfriend and the babies she is having, her night teddy, eye mask, toilet, toilet again (just incase) .... I can then watch programmes of my own without considering her or my mum.
I was bought bluetooth headphones for my birthday and I’m sat here listening to some music with a cuppa, answering texts or social media from my friends that I have missed the night before and typing all these thoughts...... all the while watching the monitor for any movement which suggests she is now awake..... and the day begins again!
